Memorable Minutes....

It's not like I didn't know it was coming.. in fact everyday I had a count down.. and I even thought I was well prepared.. but something happened.. the moment her Dad came to get her for the last time... it was the usual routine.. with the exception of me taking pictures which they all thought was a bit ridiculous.. but I might start scrap booking again :)... they loaded in the car.. I watched them drive down the street.. I waved with the usual sign for "I love you".. we both smiled... I came inside and closed the door and all of a sudden... my heart was in my throat.. my stomach had turned inside out.. the car wasn't taking her to another country.. we'll see her on school holidays.. and on scheduled visits on weekends.. but.. it will never be the same.

For the last 5 and half years Dick and I have cared for our granddaughter as needed when her parents worked. They would drop her off early in the morning in her pj's or her car seat when she was little, or when she and her Mom lived here for a couple of years she would just bound down the hallway when she woke up. She'd crawl in bed with us, we'd fix her toast, she'd eat it in a certain way in a certain spot, give each crust to Max... push the crumbs to Papa's side for him to find later.. then snuggle down with us to watch a movie that she'd thought about and planned on all nite in the later years. In the younger years Papa would have to do a commercial for each one at the end of the bed in order for her to choose.

On Pre K school days last year it was different, she'd eat her breakfast and then brush her teeth, come and get her hair brushed, get her special "Nana kiss" on the back of the neck when it was all done..and a little snuggle..and off she'd go with Papa and Max to school. Tuesday's were different because Papa worked so Nana would take her.. which was special because Nana made "excellent toast" :).

When you're with the ones you love it's not so much what you do it's the fact you're with the ones you love and you know those times are precious and oh so few. I know mothers all over the country are going through the same thing sending their little ones to Kindergarten. It's a right of passage. Pre K was different.. you could take them... drop them off..see their friends each day.. their teacher.. survey the situation.. and you knew you'd be back in 2.5 hours. Then she and Papa would most likely have errands to run with Max.. her playmate. On special days she'd talk her Papa into Mc Donald's and then come home and watch a movie while eating it...he loved every minute of it! He'd always comment on how warm her little hands were while walking in holding hands on those freezing winter days.

Now.. she's going to be off on her own. Not only have she and her Mommy moved across town to live with her Mommy's husband... which is normal and we are happy for them.. but now she's going full time too!! She'll have a step brother to play with, more kids to play with .. all wonderful things.

So.. you see in these short 3 hours I've come to realize I'm not sad for me... though it may sound like that...but rather excited for her new life... and excited for all that she has in front of her. It's just another rite of passage.. I lived through it with my kids.. and I'll live through it with my grand kids. I'm thankfull for all the time that I got to have with her, though my heart hurts now.. I've come to understand that rather than suppress it.. I've learned it's better to set a time aside time to just "go with it".. that's right.. just be sad.. feel the emotions.. remember all the happiness and think about how much I'm going to miss her smile in the morning and how happy she made me on my hardest days. Because then I can go on... to whatever God has for me next... and no matter what no one can take those memories away from me!! :)